Expert Couples Therapy
in Dallas-Fort Worth

Transitions are part of life, but some are harder than others. Rodney Shepherd is a licensed counselor and owner of Wisdom Counseling, and he joins me in studio tonight. Rodney, welcome to the show. Thank you, Scott, for having me. I appreciate it. Uh, talk about some of the transitions you help your clients with. Oh my goodness. Um, well, there, there tend to be quite a few depending on the client that I, that I get, uh, most of them are couples. Uh, and so usually with those transitions, especially my new couples is usually transitioning from single life to marry life. That is a big transition. Absolutely. If it's an individual. Typically, I'm dealing with depression, anxiety, grief, and so a lot of those transitions tend to kind of stem from, you know, understanding that a person is obviously no longer here. And so perhaps the first 365 days, it'll feel like Every day is the first day without them, right? Because the first birthday, the first holiday, the first anniversary. And when you talk about, you know, depression or anxiety, then you tend to look at people that tend to focus either on the past or the present. And so they're trying to control realms that don't exist. Your present exists, and that's really the only realm you can control. But usually if you're depressed, you're trying to control the past. If you're anxious, you're trying to control the future. And so I help them to try to transition out of that and just be present and be in the moment. Do you think, Rodney, there's a, it just seems like with all that's going on in the world today, And we could just go down the list. Of course, you know, we've, we've gone through this world pandemic where, you know, our money's not going as far. Right. Um, you know, we were talking before we started the show about social media, but the, you know, the racial injustice that's going on in the world. I mean, everywhere I turn around, there's, there's reasons to be depressed. Do you find that there's more of an issue today than there was even a couple of years ago? Uh, I think there's a lot of residue that we are experiencing from 2020. Um, you know, you can in theory look at certain aspects of it and see where it's better, but then you can look at certain aspects and see where it's not. Um, obviously, in the financial realm where we have so much inflation, you know, there's a lot of concern there. But if we're talking strictly about, like, So, uh, if we're dealing with civil unrest, for example, then I think we're dealing more with residue, which is still a huge factor because trauma is real and people are having to try and overcome and get beyond that. But unfortunately, what we're experiencing now are behaviors from those past traumas that happened a couple of years ago. Yeah, makes sense. Sure. I'm wondering how you stay grounded because I, and I've always wondered this because I think, um, full transparency, you know, I have. I have grown to really respect and understand the need for counseling. Mm hmm. I haven't always been that way, Rodney. Sure. You know, I, I grew up, you know, almost like it was instilled in me, like, just pull up your boots and you'll be fine. Yeah. Suck it up, right? Yeah, likewise. Um, and, and now I've got a house full of, of teenage daughters, you know, two of them that I've raised. Oh, good. And it's like, like, you need counseling. And I understand it. But how do you stay grounded? Like, how do you keep yourself? Grounded when you are constantly dealing with people that are in transition. Uh, that's that's a good question and and I would say for me it started as early as when I decided that I wanted to Make this a career Um, I was very intentional even then I said wifey My wife, Kendra, I say, we're, we're going to go to counseling. Not that there was anything wrong at the time. Um, but I wanted to know what it would be like sitting on the opposite side. And so for me, it was important. It actually highlighted and brought out a lot of things that I didn't know was going on in my marriage. Um, but I would say more, more currently. Uh, a lot of discipline, um, from the time I get up in the morning, I'm, I'm very particular about how I order and structure my day. So whether it's prayer, whether it's a reading of scripture, you know, working out, there are very, very intentional things that I do. Uh, and I try to make those things a habit, try to make them a lifestyle, uh, just so when I'm, when I see my first client and I go from 9 a. m. to 9 p. m. some days. So I need the energy. Sure. And so by setting and structuring my day in such a way, it allows me to kind of stay sane. I'll say it that way. And what I hear you say is self care. So even as a counselor. You wake up and you do the things that, that the spiritual element, right? The physical, working out. You take care of yourself in the morning Sure. So that you can take care of others throughout the day. Absolutely. Absolutely. I want them, you know, I want all my clients to know for the next hour. You're the most important person to me. And so in order for me to let them know that I, I have to be the most important person to me first. And so I'm very intentional about those things so that I can give that intention to my clients. I just think that's something that even though we're not licensed counselors, if you own a business, and you constantly are pouring and pouring and pouring into your business, sure. Probably good to do some self care. Absolutely. To be a better business owner or to be a better boss or even a better employee. Yes, sure. Yeah, I tell my clients, you know, there are three primary things I want them to focus on. One being self assessment. Self awareness, self governance. So if you examine yourself, that will bring about self awareness. Once you're aware, now you can better govern yourself. A lot of times we get stuck at the first one because we don't want to judge us. We don't want to judge the situation for what it is. And when I don't properly judge myself, I leave it up to other people to now judge me. Okay. Makes sense. I like that. So walk us through your approach on helping people. How is it, how is it unique when you sit down and work with a client? Well, um, I'm, I'm very much empathetic in my approach. I guess you could say my theoretical approach is person centered or client centered. So kind of what I was saying before, I want my clients to know that they're the most important person to me for the next hour. So I show a lot of empathy. I'm very nonjudgmental. I will challenge my clients. Uh, and I also present a lot of concepts, some are kind of fun activities and different exercises and then some are just principles that work for everybody if they choose to work them. I do have a biblical foundation in my approach, I don't, I'm not a Bible terrorist, unless you want me to be, but, uh, but for the most part, you know, I, a lot of what I do is rooted in biblical truth. It's good. It's good. Your website, by the way, is Applywisecouncil. com. That's a great name. I love it. Applywisecouncil. com. And wherever you're at. Now, Rodney's in the Metroplex, but he would be happy to talk to you wherever you're at watching the show tonight. You know, we've mentioned this on the show. I didn't come up with this, uh, full transparency, but But the concept of it's okay to not be okay, it's just not okay to, to stay there. Absolutely. Yeah, I like that. I like that. Yeah. So, um, alright, uh, any party nuggets? So we got less than a minute. Someone who's watching tonight, you know, what would you, uh, want them to know or, or think about? Um, I guess to whatever viewer that that is watching, I think the main thing is, you know, kind of going with what you just said, you know, understanding that whenever you're faced with any life challenge, we're all going to go through some sort of life challenge. The, the first thing you want to do is be able to allow yourself to process whatever that is. And if you find that it is a bit much or a a little too difficult to process, process that on your own, then counseling is in order. And so you wanna reach out, you know, for that additional aid and get someone that's more objective, uh, that can definitely help, help you in that endeavor. 'cause at some point we all need counseling. Absolutely, Rodney, appreciate it. Thank you Scott. Again, it's apply wise counsel.com, stick around. This is create, build, and manage daily.